Good morning my beloved friends,
Whatever you may be walking through…whether you’re getting ready for a beautiful weekend ahead, or you’re still struggling to simply rise out of bed this morning, I pray you find joy and comfort in the stillness of God.
Let heaven into your life today. We need more of it. The darkness can never comprehend the light, and when you open up the windows and open the doors to the life of Christ—you’ll never walk away the same.
You ever hear of the song, “Way Maker” by Leeland? Gosh. It’s one of my favorites, and my soul rejoices at the lines proclaiming:
Even when I don’t see it
You’re working
Even when I don’t feel it
You’re working
You never stop, never stop working
That’s the whole beauty of our Lord, Jesus Christ. He never stops working. He’s always moving—like the wind. You know when Jesus was having the midnight conversation with Nicodemus? Let’s turn there for a moment.
“Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God.”
“What do you mean?” exclaimed Nicodemus. “How can an old man go back into his mother’s womb and be born again?”
Jesus replied, “I assure you, no one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit. Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life. So don’t be surprised when I say, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.”
—John 3:3-5
The Wind
I can imagine Jesus gently closing His eyes, His head tilted toward the night sky beneath shimmering stars, and with joy in His voice proclaiming:
“Don’t you feel the breeze of the wind? See how the palm trees sway with its movement? You hear it. You can feel it. And somehow, it brings life, refreshing and stirring everything and everyone it touches. You can’t tell where the wind comes from or where it is going… and it is the same with those born of the Spirit. That is what brings life. Words are too cheap to fully explain what happens when you experience the life of the Spirit.”
As our Lord’s words are gracefully received by the ears of a man who has never tasted the life of the Spirit, Jesus—the very God who is the morning sun, the essence of heaven itself, movement and life, He takes the time to reveal what it truly feels like to be alive in Him.
Here, he describes what I’ve felt and experienced the time I first encountered Him.
Where I Learned to Seek the Holy Spirit
The Holy Spirit comes wherever He is welcomed.
And the most beautiful part about Jesus, is that He made a way for us to be completely reunited with Him as if we were never separated in the beginning. He came to give us a new day. A new and living way. And He did that for me.
I was only shy of seventeen years old. It was summer, and I was living through one of the darkest seasons of my life. Our family was a mess; everything seemed to be falling apart around us. We had only been living in Florida for three years, and I still felt out of place. I had no friends, was battling a secret addiction no one knew about, and felt like I had nowhere to turn.
This pastor’s kid carried the pressure of being perfect. Everyone saw me as the innocent little delight. The well-behaved, smiling girl who always seemed put together. But beneath the surface, I was quietly falling apart.
I wanted to run, but had no where to run. I tried hiding, but that failed miserably.
Until one summer afternoon in late August of 2016, I believe. It was the season things were really shaking around us, and I wasn’t sure of anything anymore. But I remember distinctly that I was…searching. I was looking for truth again, trying to find something more.
I had always grown up around Pentecostal and non-denominational circles, where praying in tongues, prophecy, passionate worship, healing, and deliverance unfolded right before my eyes. It was the atmosphere I had always known, where the presence of God was spoken about as something real, tangible, and alive.
…but I never experienced it for myself. Never felt it for real.
This place of darkness, silence, and secrets I was living in was costing me far more than I was willing to pay. I thought it would make me feel better, numb the pain, quiet what was really hurting me, and give me some kind of escape. But it didn’t.
After I “did the deed,” I felt the piling weight of shame on my chest and the torment of questions and doubt; wondering if God even still loved me, or if I had somehow gone too far this time.
That’s when I got up and ran downstairs to my mom’s office—a space tucked away where she would prepare her messages, check emails, and sometimes where I would quietly do homework.
I remember the view when I looked out the window. Our home overlooked a beautiful stretch of bay that opened out into the ocean. Palm trees swayed in the breeze, and the waterfall pool shimmered like something out of a tropical oasis.
I rummaged through the closet of books, studies, and honestly…more books than you’d imagine on anything you had questions about. How to grow closer to Jesus, how to fast and pray, walking in the faith, healing and deliverance, you name it. My mom had it all. But I keep, for some reason, looking for something that would help me.
Honestly, I’ve never been an avid reader. I didn’t really like reading. But that day, something in me felt drawn there—like I had to find what I was looking for.
That’s when I found it.
Among dusty boxes and archived books that hadn’t been touched in years, I started pulling things out one by one. And there it was—The Anointing by Benny Hinn.
I had heard of my mom preaching about “The Anointing” several times at our church. I had seen the movement of the wind of the Spirit like Jesus talks about. But I was on the outside looking in. And I wanted in.
I ran upstairs to the private place of my bedroom, closed and locked the door behind me, and started reading. For the first time, I wasn’t just skimming words, I was devouring them, soaking in every sentence, turning each page slowly as if something in it might answer what I couldn’t explain that I needed.
It felt like I was eating the book itself—absorbing it, ruminating on every line, holding onto anything that even remotely felt like life again.
I finally got to the chapter where the author talks about the Holy Spirit. The person of Jesus. I remember explicitly he says the Holy Spirit a "gentleman" who will not barge into a room. He writes about how he would close his door, sit on his bed, and verbally say, "Holy Spirit, you are welcome here." When you invite Him into your room, and you don't give up until you feel Him, you are entering into fellowship.
He describes a desperate, stubborn persistence—praying and waiting on the Holy Spirit for hours without stopping—until a heavy, tangible blanket of God's power settled over him, permanently changing his life
I knew in my heart, this is what I truly longed for. Fellowship and connection with the Holy Spirit, personally.
So, I turned on worship music. I remember specifically it was, “Look Upon The Lord” by Kari Jobe. And I got down on the carpeted floor of my bedroom at the end of the bed. I fell to my knees and cried. All in one moment, there was a wailing in my soul from what felt like years of crying and pouring out my tears.
I began crying out to Jesus, truly coming and confessing everything that was on my heart for years. I brought Him all my hurt, pain, worries, fears, and my addictions. I didn’t want them anymore. They were so heavy. I laid it down. Right there. On the alter of my carpeted bedroom.
And I stayed there for hours. Following the persistent example of Benny Hinn, I was persistent in seeking the Holy Spirit. I needed more than the words of Jesus in the Bible. I needed His words to be alive in me. I needed the real Jesus.
When He Walks In The Room
As I was weeping, the the worship music continued to play. I felt something shift in the very atmosphere of my room. Suddenly, the atmosphere that felt cold, heavy and stagnant—was warm and moving. The room felt lifted into the “hemisphere of heaven” as Benny Hinn describes. I can honestly say, that’s what I was experiencing.
I heard and felt God walking into my room. My spiritual eyes opened, and I could see His feet walking in front of my where I laid. And the train of His robe filled my bedroom.
The Holy Spirit physically entered my room. Jesus was here. And He became as real to me that morning as any person who stand in front of you.
Instantly, I can’t explain it in mere words—but tears of sorrow instantly turning into tears of laughter and wonder ran down my cheeks as the Spirit touched my heart. The heavy weight I’d been carrying for years, He took it away from me in that moment.
And the addiction I had been struggling with? The desire had left me in that moment. I was just laying there for hours, in the glory of God. And I didn’t leave for a long time. It was just as the Bible describes, a tangible manifestation of the glory of the Lord—the “Shekinah” glory mentioned in the Old Testament, but promised through Jesus sacrifice and given through the Holy Spirit.
The glory of the Lord was so intense I couldn’t move. It felt like electricity and warmth rushing through my body. As I sought His Spirit, He came—and in that moment I realized He was the answer I had been searching for all along. I had been looking for Him all along.
A New Day
My life has forever been changed from that moment on. And even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death at times, I will fear no evil—for He is with me. Christ the Lord is with me.
You see, Jesus never left us alone. But He gave us His Spirit. His presence. And has united us in His glory, forever.
It’s the Gospel that saves, and His glory that changes everything. His Spirit brings life to the once dead places again. And His light illuminates what was darkened.
We are made for a new day. A new dawn. And it’s time to seek the Lord while He may be found. If you’re walking through mundane routines of everyday life, living comfortably, or struggling with even staying steady… I pray that you come with persistence in seeking Jesus with all your heart and find the glory you were made for all along. Today is a new day for you.
“Arise and shine for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.”
—Isaiah 60:1
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
—Jeremiah 29:13
To all of my friends here on Substack🤍
I truly appreciate every one of you who has taken the time to read, listen, encourage, and walk alongside me here.
My prayer is that these writings and songs continue to bless, encourage, and draw you closer to the heart of Jesus.
And for those of you who are on YouTube, come join me there as well! I’ll be sharing more worship sessions, instrumental music, moments of prayer, and other creative things along the way.
Thank you again for being here. A new day is here. ☀️
